Ning-Jia.com

The more stressed I am, the more problems I avoid and the fewer problems I solve. It is not true that the more problems I have, the more stressed I am. I am stressed only when I linger too long on a single problem. Solve it. Get out of stressful states ASAP to remain productive.

I realised why some don't like talking to me. I destroy people's confidence more than I bring them up. I challenge ideas and make them doubt their initial thoughts. I go deep, and often people aren't comfortable with that.  I need to insert a step before that to gauge the readiness of that experience.  If they are casual and the relationship is short term, I should make them feel good. I should not introduce a thought provoking experience.  If they need confidence, I should reassure them to a certain level.  Only if they are overconfident, do I anchor them down to reality.  My impact matters. 

Every time we meet someone new, it's a new beginning.  Not just for the relationship, but more importantly, for ourselves. We get to decide again: Who do we want to be (in front of this person)? What do I reveal first?  The worst of me? The best? Am I trying to impress?  Is there something to learn here?  How honest do we want to be? Is this person potentially dangerous?  Without thinking, then, depending on our mood, we'll default to what was last presented.  However, if some thought is managed, we can begin a new beginning of who we want to be.  This is why it's important that we meet new people every now and then. 

Today, I saw an Alam Flora driver with what appeared to be a special-needs child in the passenger seat. It so happened he stopped near my condo as I was cycling to work today. I stopped and gave him a hundred bucks and told him to take care of himself and his kid.  I want to be able to continue to help others discreetly like that. I would like to avoid a future where either I don't have time to do these discreet charity actions or every action is a highlight.  If I do arrive at that kind of a future, I am in what Yuval Hariri's description of a "Black Hole of Power".

I want to remind myself that the lack of time is equally as bad, if not worse, than the lack of money.  With money, we can provide temporary relief from our basic necessities in life, whether it be food or entertainment - to continue to live our lives.  With time, we can provide a listening ear, a word of advice, inspiration, or our own introspection - to change our lives. 

These are the friends I've made since I've been cycling to work for almost a year now. After every time away from KL, I looked forward to meeting them again.   Kak Susie, who keeps the main road clean. Mutu and Krishna, the pair that clean the residential area close to my condo.  Mutu was missing for awhile, replaced by Kak Susie and then reappeared here.  F.A.M. the security guard by the corner, keeping our streets safe.   These are the smiles I look forward to on my cycling days. 😊

"Do what you say you'd do." Just six words, but these six words carried me through my corporate career in the first seven years. The importance of being reliable is one of the foundations of building trust. Without it, we would not be tasked with anything significant. Yet, in almost a year, expecting something as simple as that has been a challenge. I hold others to my professional standards of being reliable, yet more often than not, I am disappointed. Do I have to lower my standards from large Multinational Corporations (MNC) to be more fitting to a Small Medium Enterprise (SME)? Do I have to compromise on something that I held so sacred as a professional? Trying to establish myself as an expert in SMEs, what kind of expectations are reasonable? No. In the last few months, I've thought deeply about this topic. I realised there's another layer to it that I could afford to ignore in large corporate settings and cannot afford to ignore in smaller businesses - ...

Yesterday, a new friend asked me.  I told her it was the sense of achievement, the dangers of the wilderness, the adventure. No other hobby gave so much and demanded so little. Just bring your rubbish back and leave only footprints. 

I'm writing for myself.  The reason for starting this blog was to write for myself (an inspiration from Marcus Aurelius who wrote the 12 books of the Meditations as a source for his own guidance and self-improvement for over 19 years). I have to constantly remind myself of that.  For the last few months, my mind has been hazy. Despite going through yet another 10-day meditation, my growth was stunted. My writings reflect that over the last few months.  Yesterday was my first hike since the pandemic. Yes, I organised it for a few of my friends, but being one with nature again revitalised me. I am closer to my true self yet again and my desire to write has returned.  So why has my growth been stunted? On the 10th day of my meditation course, we were allowed to speak, and we discussed the discipline of continuing to meditate. I openly admitted that I was lazy. But inside, I told myself that because I seek no improvements in myself, I do not need to try so hard since I a...

 Of all my Personal Stories on this site, this should be the most important one that I have to write about - at least up till now.  Last week was my wedding ceremony. I was married to Janine in early 2020 already, so the feeling of getting married wasn't there. I thought of it as more of a performance for my immediate family and Janine's family and friends.  It was a practical task for me (I am very conscious of the difference in excitement between Janine and me). We wanted something meaningful, memorable and most of all, manageable. We were remotely coordinating this from Malaysia with various parties in the Philippines, so we couldn't afford to be too micromanaging or particular with some of the details. Janine had friends and family helping us on the other side, and the rest we had to leave it up to the experts.  I'm not sure what I was expecting. The day went by quietly for me. I know Janine was extremely engaged, with so many people talking to her, telling her t...