Ning-Jia.com

In a world where trust is increasingly elusive, our experiences with deception and manipulation often lead us to adopt a permanent state of suspicion. We guard ourselves against potential harm, shielding our vulnerabilities behind walls of skepticism. However, this defensive mindset risks blinding us to the genuine connections and caring individuals who enter our lives. This self-reflection piece delves into the repercussions of mistrust, contemplating the missed opportunities for meaningful relationships and the importance of remaining open despite the scars of past experiences. The Paradox of Mistrust As human beings, we have an innate desire to trust and be trusted. Yet, the scars of betrayal linger long after the initial wounds have healed. The actions of manipulative individuals create a lasting impact, causing us to question the authenticity of others. However, by perpetually assuming ill intentions, we unintentionally perpetuate a cycle of mistrust in our own social circles. In ...

In the pursuit of a meaningful life, we often find ourselves grappling with the question of personal purpose. However, what if one's own sense of purpose remains elusive? Is it possible to find fulfillment by dedicating oneself to driving others towards their purpose? This philosophical exploration delves into the idea of transcending self-interest, channeling our energies towards empowering others, and ultimately discovering a profound sense of purpose in the process. The Nature of Purpose Purpose is a profoundly personal and subjective concept, intricately connected to one's individual desires, passions, and values. It acts as a compass, guiding our actions and infusing our lives with significance. I've come to realise that I've sometimes placed undue pressure on those close to me in this matter. The quest for personal purpose can be daunting, leading to frustration and existential uncertainty. It is during these moments that I strive to shift the focus outward, embra...

In the midst of my daily routine, I often encounter moments that ignite profound reflections. Such instances have the power to unveil deeper truths about the world around us and the nature of human behaviour. Today, as I was cycling to work, I saw a fat cat munching away on some food left on the sidewalk for strays. This sight sparked an intriguing observation within me: unmanaged charity only feeds the fat. It invited me to delve into the philosophical implications of unregulated acts of kindness and explore the delicate balance between compassion and enabling. The Nature of Charity Charity, at its core, is a noble expression of compassion and concern for the welfare of others. It takes various forms, from providing aid to the needy to supporting charitable organisations. However, the essence of charity lies not merely in the act of giving but also in its intended consequences. When directed wisely and judiciously, charity can uplift the downtrodden, foster empathy, and cultivate a se...

What is customer-centricity?  It means that we think about the customer in everything we do.  So when it comes to AI, those who fear it are because they are product-centric.  "I've lost my passion for art." is a common sight in forums all over the internet. In my opinion, to be sustainable, they could have focused on the joy, the thoughts, and the feelings, art has brought to their customers instead of the art itself.  If everyone thought about their work that way, there's nothing to be feared. We all can be a lot more productive and more importantly, positive towards this disruption.  Till the day when and if AI actually does entirely take over humanity, I will still be sharpening up my survivor skills as a Boy Scout ready to pivot into a Terminator/Matrix/Resident Evil style apocalypse lifestyle.

Had my manager come in complaining about people not doing their work.  I came up with a badass response,  "I'm fed up too! But the difference between you and I is: When you're fed up, you don't do anything. When I'm fed up, I do it all myself." Mic drop, dismissed her.  In my mind anyway, but the arguement went on for a bit longer and in the end she said she'll do it, even though it isn't her work.  Good enough of an outcome, give myself a pat on the back and continue with my day's work. 

Yesterday, I had a chat with an old friend and the topic of love came up. I argued that love shouldn't be evaluated based on the amount of effort put in.  Some may disagree, and they may further think I don't put much effort into my relationship with my wife. But I don't pay much attention to most other people's opinions anyway.  If anything, love should be evaluated based on growth, not effort. I previously had this conversation with another friend and said that as long as I am a better person because of my wife, our relationship is working. My friend and I agreed that unfortunately, many relationships are evaluated based on effort. The upfront question "what has he/she done for me?" is a major obstacle to what we consider true love. Jokingly, we ranked Chinese guys as the ones who make the most effort, followed by Singaporean guys, and then Malaysian guys. While everything is relative, Malaysian guys still maintain a high standard. Anyway, it was just a joke...

The more stressed I am, the more problems I avoid and the fewer problems I solve. It is not true that the more problems I have, the more stressed I am. I am stressed only when I linger too long on a single problem. Solve it. Get out of stressful states ASAP to remain productive.

I realised why some don't like talking to me. I destroy people's confidence more than I bring them up. I challenge ideas and make them doubt their initial thoughts. I go deep, and often people aren't comfortable with that.  I need to insert a step before that to gauge the readiness of that experience.  If they are casual and the relationship is short term, I should make them feel good. I should not introduce a thought provoking experience.  If they need confidence, I should reassure them to a certain level.  Only if they are overconfident, do I anchor them down to reality.  My impact matters. 

Every time we meet someone new, it's a new beginning.  Not just for the relationship, but more importantly, for ourselves. We get to decide again: Who do we want to be (in front of this person)? What do I reveal first?  The worst of me? The best? Am I trying to impress?  Is there something to learn here?  How honest do we want to be? Is this person potentially dangerous?  Without thinking, then, depending on our mood, we'll default to what was last presented.  However, if some thought is managed, we can begin a new beginning of who we want to be.  This is why it's important that we meet new people every now and then. 

Today, I saw an Alam Flora driver with what appeared to be a special-needs child in the passenger seat. It so happened he stopped near my condo as I was cycling to work today. I stopped and gave him a hundred bucks and told him to take care of himself and his kid.  I want to be able to continue to help others discreetly like that. I would like to avoid a future where either I don't have time to do these discreet charity actions or every action is a highlight.  If I do arrive at that kind of a future, I am in what Yuval Hariri's description of a "Black Hole of Power".